The Big Smoke

So, I heard people bitching about Pandora all the time, and it makes me think, what the fuck? "Waa waa, my Rod Steward customizable radio station just played Kenny G! What does it think I am, some pussy!" "Waa waa, why would it ever think I like Captain and Tenile? Doesn’t Pandora know how punk I am?"

I used to dismiss these people are negative detractors, and point out that Pandora is an exact mirror of your personality and maybe they should look within, not without at Pandora. That’s till I realized how wrong I was.

I was listening to my custom-built Pandora "Chillin in the Club Radio" station. It’s designed to play all my favourite songs about hangin in the club (and some new ones!), to remind me of all the fun times I’ve had going down the the club, being in the club, seeing someone in the club, knowing that someone sees me in the club, dancing in the club and stuff like that.

Well, I was chilling to it, and thinking about what moves I’d bust out next time I was in the club, and what happens? They play a song about souping up cars, and driving them. What the hell does Pandora think I am? A car mechanic. Well, it’s going to take me literally years to FabuTan away these scars. Another brick in the wall, man…

Fuck you, Pandora. 

So, I don’t have kids, so why the fuck don’t I have the option not to have child-proof fucking annoying fucking caps?

For example, last night, I was taking some Tylenol-3 for my severe aches and pains, and for the hangover I assumed I would get the next morning. Well, I could get the damned thing off well enough, but then I couldn’t get the motherfucking cap back on again! I didn’t want my precious Tylenol to go stale.

What’s the deal with that? I mean really. 

I normally don’t like the site this came from, but this caught my eye.

 Filler filler.

Gah, my new girlfriend is so gullible. She actually believed a full two litres of brandy evaporated because the cap was off overnight. Haha, no. I actually downed it in about fifteen minutes while she was sleeping, and spent the rest of the night sitting up, staring into the darkness. Chicks!