The Big Smoke

When I was using Google Image Search to find some Pulp Fiction pics to steal for the last article, I saw a dark underbelly of the Internet I never want to see again.

The first site I tried was some kind of insane fan fiction site, or possibly some kind of proposed sequel. I was going to link it, but I was sort of embarrassed for the author’s sake and thought he would be best off left alone, in his tiny, but no doubt more comfortable, isolated world, safe from the pity and scorn his site begs for.

Then I find this movie review site where they claimed Pulp Fiction was "The American Graffiti of Crime Movies". Fucking what? American Graffiti? American fucking Graffiti? If I had never seen Pulp Fiction before, and I read that review, I would never touch any Tarantino flick fucking ever.

And then, to intensify the madness, I get linked to this motherfucking German site with fifty fucking Java applets on it. My CPU went fucking insane for fifteen minutes - so insane that I couldn’t turn off or reboot it. Once I finally got the computer working again and restarted, my Firefox was broken, so I had to fucking reinstall it thanks to that fucking Kraut, and I lost all my RRSes.

Well, my first reaction was to loudly scream that the Krauts never suffered for the Holocaust and that we should start killing all their women and children indiscriminately. I calmed down a bit, though, and I take back my genocide-revenge threats, but I will say this: I will give Firefox or Google literally two months salary to make it so it blocks system-destroying pages, or to assassinate the guy who invented Java who is once again leading the very impressionable German race down yet another dark and dangerous path.

In conclusion, having had a chance to observe some of Pulp Fiction’s fans, I’m strongly considering taking it off my ‘best of’ list.