I read this article and I hope it’s not just meaningless bullshit hype. Especially as Google has a censorship deal with the Chinese Government, and may have helped inadvertently throw an activist in prison themselves. Don’t be fucking evil indeed.
When I was using Google Image Search to find some Pulp Fiction pics to steal for the last article, I saw a dark underbelly of the Internet I never want to see again.
The first site I tried was some kind of insane fan fiction site, or possibly some kind of proposed sequel. I was going to link it, but I was sort of embarrassed for the author’s sake and thought he would be best off left alone, in his tiny, but no doubt more comfortable, isolated world, safe from the pity and scorn his site begs for.
Then I find this movie review site where they claimed Pulp Fiction was "The American Graffiti of Crime Movies". Fucking what? American Graffiti? American fucking Graffiti? If I had never seen Pulp Fiction before, and I read that review, I would never touch any Tarantino flick fucking ever.
And then, to intensify the madness, I get linked to this motherfucking German site with fifty fucking Java applets on it. My CPU went fucking insane for fifteen minutes - so insane that I couldn’t turn off or reboot it. Once I finally got the computer working again and restarted, my Firefox was broken, so I had to fucking reinstall it thanks to that fucking Kraut, and I lost all my RRSes.
Well, my first reaction was to loudly scream that the Krauts never suffered for the Holocaust and that we should start killing all their women and children indiscriminately. I calmed down a bit, though, and I take back my genocide-revenge threats, but I will say this: I will give Firefox or Google literally two months salary to make it so it blocks system-destroying pages, or to assassinate the guy who invented Java who is once again leading the very impressionable German race down yet another dark and dangerous path.
In conclusion, having had a chance to observe some of Pulp Fiction’s fans, I’m strongly considering taking it off my ‘best of’ list.
Director: Quitin Tarantino Starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Faceless-Suicide-Cult Shithead Part of my 100 Best Movies in History Series.
I don’t think I need to say much about the movie itself. I’m sure you could google "pulp fiction" and find all kinds of motherfucking crazy essays about how this movie is a deep and elaborate metaphor for life or something. Who fucking reads those anyway? I’m not gonna say this wasn’t one of the best movies of all times, but it was a flawed classic.
Ugly Sexy - This movie is what the ‘ugly-sexy’ category was created for. Uma Therman is pretty hot, but Jesus Christ Quintin managed to make her annoying. Here’s the problem when a video-store clerk virgin makes movies: Girls with "Free Spirits". You know, the kind of girl who goes to off-beat restaurants, and has a craaaazy haircut, and uses obscure, outdated slang and other words people never fucking use?
When I was fourteen, I thought a certain kind of girl was hot. The kind of girl who wore wacky clothing and said random shit and went to quirky hang-outs. Their eccentricity was attractive: they were "free spirits" and boy did I want their pussy to take me to magical lands of non-conformity.
Of course, I grew up a bit and started dating some of those free spirit girls. It turns out that all the random shit they say is just to cover up how boring they are on the inside, and the wacky clothes and quirky restaurants reflect some fucked up low self-esteem issues. On top of that they’re unpredictably bitchy. I’m sure it makes them think they’re edgy when they scream at you about how you’re too hypnotized by society or whatever, but they really just come across as cunts.
Look at that fucking hair. What the shit? I believe at this point in the film she was saying "What’s the diddly-o, Daddy-o?" or something retarded.
And that’s the girls on this film - especially Uma’s character. A fourteen year old virgin’s wet dream and an older guy’s disturbing nightmare.
See, when Quitin was making this movie, he still hadn’t become massively famous yet, so he hadn’t gotten layed and still thought that bullshit was hot. Thank God bitches have been ganking him for his dollars between the success of this movie and the making of Kill Bill, because he finally figured out how to make a sexy girl hot. Which shouldn’t be a fucking challenge if you think about it.
Anyhow, this movie’s sexiness is mainly targeted at the ladies, not the fellas. Hell, half the movie is shirtless guys with reassuring smiles. I’m not into that, but I can enjoy this softcore porn for the art behind it - never before has man-flesh been whored in such a creative way. I mean, I’m not really into guys, but the ladies need eye-candy too, and I’m sophisticated enough enjoy this film platonically.
