The Big Smoke

 Director: Chris Eyre Starring: Adam Beach, Evan Adams, Irene Bedard Part of my 100 Best Movies in History Series. 

This was my original review:

—–

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to joke about natives, because in my part of Canada we’re still fucking them over pretty bad and I don’t wanna sound like a dumbshit redneck. Aside from that, I get the feeling that this movie was saying something important about contemporary life as a native, and I’ve never lived on a rez or anything, so I might sound a bit foolish. So I’m going to just say that this is a really good movie that you should see, and address another related issue.

I saw this movie while I was living in San Fransisco, at this little indy theatre. It wasn’t in a gay part of town, and so I didn’t realize till it was too late that this was a very gay theatre that was playing a non-gay movie (I found out later that they mainly play gay romantic comedies). How did I realize this at the time? Because I was drinking a lot of pop, I go to take a piss, and instead of urinals in the men’s room, they had two lidless toilets that were literally touching. Fucking touching, which means that if you yourself are taking a pee, you have to rub up against the dude next to you. Motherfucker.

Hey, that’s fine if you only play gay pornos and you want gay people to have gay sex in your theatre, but this movie wasn’t about gayness at all, goddamnit.

I respect the gay community, and I want us all to live together in marriage and peace, but maybe you’d get more friends amongst the straights if you didn’t make them pee while touching you in your movie theatres. You know, some people have trouble peeing when there’s someone else around - I’m not saying me, but some people - so that’s like x10 when you have to pee while touching someone.

—

But then I look this movie up on Rotten Tomatoes and what do I fucking see?