The Big Smoke

"Fuck you, the establishment" Says this generation’s Zack de la Rocha, John "Pussy Hypocrite" Stewart. Such unapologetic Man-Baiting and Weisenheimery is typical of Comedy Central’s America-Hating hit "The Daily Show"

This will be gone as soon as you can say ‘Fight the Man’, although at least some of the writers of this show have expressed the view that they don’t give a shit about this sort of thing.

Let me tell you a little story: I live in Canada. The mother fuckers at Comedy Central (and the sci-fi channel) are so motherfucking hip beyond words, by broadcasting their anti-establishment Daily Show and by supporting outspoken, fuck-the-man-rebellious comedians like David Cross, decided a long time ago that it would be illegal to play the show ‘Mystery Science Theatre 3000′ in all of Canada. Further, it would be illegal of me to go onto Frostwire, or whatever equivalent service and download an episode.

I would gladly pay to see a show of that quality. But they wont let me. They wont let me see advertisements interrupting that show every ten minutes. They wont accept a tenth of my income, which I would gladly give, because due to some primitive, misguided bigotry, they’ve decided that they will never allow themselves to make a profit off of Canadians.

 Now, I was watching the news every day for the last five years or so, and it came to my attention that America, economically speaking, is on a massive downward spiral. It’s also come to my attention that the White House consistently blames 9-11, an event most Americans don’t even believe happened. I’ve also noticed that Canada is becoming gradually richer and richer, and our currency is comparing better and better with the United States’, not because we’re doing anything amazing, but just because, by comparison to our closest neighbour, our country’s economy isn’t rocket-propelling itself down the shitter.

Might it have something to do with the fact that most American Corporations have been spending billions of dollars suing 12 year old kids for downloading music? Or maybe the fact that every company is on fucking welfare like a common Englishman? Or maybe it’s the fact that after investing a bunch of money to make hours worth of a show, and suing little kids over ownership rights, Comedy Central has decided to withhold the show from Over Thirty Million Potential Customers?

Thank God that YouTube/Google have now made it apparently completely legal to watch MST3K on the web. My sexual tubes, which by now have integrated with the internet’s completely, made a little atrophied movement of joy just now, I assume.

For those of you who keep up with the Portuguese edition of this blog, you’ll know that I don’t just think of myself as a ‘blogueiro’ (blogger), I think of myself as a ‘bloguerreiro’ (blog-warrior). Why? Because I always win.
 

So don’t for get to BlogRegister your BlogReview account and BlogRate me. Also, don’t forget to vote for me in the ‘Anual Best of the Blogs’, or the ‘Official Blogging Digest Blog Annual Review’ or the prestigious ‘Blog World’s Blogging Challenge’.

Vote for me, and I swear to god I’ll vote for your crappy blog without even reading it. Remember: We bloggers are in this together. Thick or thin, bad or good, right or wrong.

So, I heard people bitching about Pandora all the time, and it makes me think, what the fuck? "Waa waa, my Rod Steward customizable radio station just played Kenny G! What does it think I am, some pussy!" "Waa waa, why would it ever think I like Captain and Tenile? Doesn’t Pandora know how punk I am?"

I used to dismiss these people are negative detractors, and point out that Pandora is an exact mirror of your personality and maybe they should look within, not without at Pandora. That’s till I realized how wrong I was.

I was listening to my custom-built Pandora "Chillin in the Club Radio" station. It’s designed to play all my favourite songs about hangin in the club (and some new ones!), to remind me of all the fun times I’ve had going down the the club, being in the club, seeing someone in the club, knowing that someone sees me in the club, dancing in the club and stuff like that.

Well, I was chilling to it, and thinking about what moves I’d bust out next time I was in the club, and what happens? They play a song about souping up cars, and driving them. What the hell does Pandora think I am? A car mechanic. Well, it’s going to take me literally years to FabuTan away these scars. Another brick in the wall, man…

Fuck you, Pandora.